the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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