so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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