plz talk dirty to me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it glows. i had to have it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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