Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
