You're so nebulous sometimes
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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