My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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