Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
