shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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