Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
