There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
