I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Shame is for Republicans.
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