Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize