theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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