I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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