Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
