Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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