Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
