i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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