Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
