There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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