Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
