Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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