I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
