just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
