TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
