fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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