Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
