Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
