Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
