Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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