her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
