my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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