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I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
