how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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