He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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