I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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