Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
