i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My liver just had a heart attack.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
