I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
