if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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