if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
someone owes me an orgasm
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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