I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
