check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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