Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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