Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
