i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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