On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
