Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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