I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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