he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
