i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
