its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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