that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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