i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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