you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize