I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
