We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
