Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it glows. i had to have it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
