Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
