If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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