He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
